Resume building on the bus

The irony in this conversation was amazing. A pretty, assertive blonde who's left her own business to become an assistant manager at walmart is giving sound advice to a young, scared recently graduated black man. How did they meet? Was it on the bus or did they know each other before this fateful ride? 

There's good people in this world still is what I scribbled into my notepad while sitting beside them. I also wrote...

I've been given such an opportunity to attend OSU this fall and reach for something. I can't be brought down any lower then I have and I know I'm on a higher wavelength then those around me. Is this the saving grace that's been hiding from me during this past month? I know I must get focused, I must get serious with my career. I'm above it all now, it's time to keep my chin up and respect my responsibilities.

If we can't find true love, do we understand that we can live in happiness with ourselves? It doesn't matter that the idea isn't executed yet, it's about showing that you can believe and follow through. 

Is that in your resume she said.

I'm missing a lot of things right now

The seeds flying into the air were unknown to me. They weren't constructed like dandelions or cat en nine tail seeds, but they continued to blow and streak in massive numbers across the land. They sat in the grass, swept across the ground all around us. Seeds of change I thought. Seeds of time/moments blown away that were once there. Now they've left to reproduce elsewhere and flourish on the own. 

I scooped one up on my finger. Where will it go? Could I travel with it? I really have a desire to leave this life and bare it on my own somewhere easier. Because things haven't been easy. It was so fitting for the cottony seeds to be surrounding my friend and I in the car at Olentangy. We had just finished discussing a query involving our lives at our small art college. In many ways, we felt we haven't turned a new chapter over in our lives from high school to college. Both of us have experienced reasons to believe that we were only adding pages to our adolescent lives. I wonder if I've grown from my experiences. I think about this more and more lately. 

I know I have, however. More and more I know my life was different four years ago and it's different now that I'm finished with a BFA. It's simple to declare a major part of your life as an unchanging past because we're beyond it now, we've grown smarter and better from the experience. Is it human nature to feel arrogant towards that?

The seeds have passed on from me. I can see my life floating right now with them, waiting for a heavy wind to take them to their new location/my new chapter. The question remains in my mind though; Am I supposed to be carried away alone?

NASA–People Tree

This song and video has cheered me up on a lot of empty days. The duo verse at the end blows my mind everytime.

And I know the Truth

I took the bus out today and met with an old friend. It's so surprising when you're on your own, you can easily see why they're simply a friend and nothing else. Of course, it might be my mind comparing her with the few great friends I've had in my life. If nothing else, the trip out made me appreciate the good people I know and perhaps has given me a good book to read as well.

On the bus ride to downtown Columbus, with no ipod or stalking conversation with other bus riders, I began to write down some quick one liners in comparison to what I was looking at outside my window. Here they are:

I don't remember the details, but I can tell you that a loose page is different depending on the person who takes ownership over it.

Sometimes a headstone is not enough.

The power of water in rivers, lakes and oceans is pacified with each bridge built.

I'm nearly frightened at the amount of motor vehicles in every city across the world.

I'm sleeping later and later nowadays with continual dreams that are pleasant until I wake up. My body has not yet conformed to the regularity that my life has become now. I've just pulled through four years of routine which had made my mind, body and soul cowering. Now I have nothing, no considerable stress or problems inflicting my life. Because of this, I've been thinking so much more about the little things in my life and transforming them into the major problems. Of course, the trouble with that is there is nothing I can do on that end. I can't begin living on my own in Columbus while starting OSU school right now in the summer. I can't get away from my feelings about the girl who's been with me through thick and thin. I was walking down the street with all these feelings pulling me inside out, and I began to say: I know the truth.

And I do. I realize that when put into perspective, I do know the truth about these major head scratchers. I don't know, however, how these troubles will pan out for me in the near future. 

You can love the girl and love your life, but sometimes you can't love both. 

I wish I had a beard to scratch this summer.

Graduating into a Beautiful World

The day finally came and I'm really happy it's over and done with. I was told that art college graduations are fun and pretty crazy, but CCAD's 130th commencement wasn't too mind boggling. I gave this speech as former student government president of our senior class:

Beliefs. When it comes down to it, I think I’ve learned the strongest skill while at CCAD in knowing what my beliefs are. With your permission I’d like to share some of them with you today.
I believe that when my mind sends a nerve impulse through my body that feels like I’m getting kicked in the ribs, that means I’m hungry and I should make a sandwich.
I also believe there are times when our mind and body know where we need to go, what we need to do, what we should and shouldn’t say and what happens next before we consciously do. And there are times when our conscience can screw that all up.
I believe that when a skeleton walks into a bar, he will always ask for a beer and a mop.
I trust and believe that we will all be able to look back at ourselves 15 years from now and see we still have some of the wild and unorthodox natures we did while we were at CCAD.
I believe we all have the knowledge to know that good people respect good opinions no matter who they’re coming from.
I believe we can be absolutely crazy sometimes to the ones we love.
I also believe that the ones who love us right back don’t think we’re crazy, just annoying.
I believe all of us graduating today have the tools needed to find out who we are out there in the real world.
And finally as I look at you all, my friends and fellow graduates. I believe that after the hell they put us through, it doesn’t matter what happens out there because we’re standing here right now with our degrees and we’ll always fight for what we believe in.

I got inspired on a bus ride home the day before graduation. The subject was fitting considering I've been doubting some of my beliefs for the past week. The month I've had has made me quite weary about my true feelings towards life and someone who's fallen away from me. With all these big changes happening around me: graduating, breaking up and being accepted into grad school, I'm not sure where my real feelings are at the moment. I already feel so different, so happy leaving the life I had while in college. I am, however, wishing that some of things in my life hadn't left. Not just yet atleast...

I've recently been having dreams again (it's amazing what a graduation can do for a student who's been overstressed and routined for four years) and let me tell you, they've been good. You wake up happy when you have a realistic dream that shows off the woman you'll marry, the family you'll have and the life you'll share with them. Of course I soon realize I'm twenty two, with no real foot in the door of that dream.

So here I am, with so much in front of me, but still in limbo. It's times like these that you realize the world is too big for you. It's time for some simplicity, it's time to crank out some of that inner beauty, to reach out and hold onto the things you need and desire and bring the world back down to your size, just the way you like it.

If only I could find that pulley system.

A Bullrush of Ideas

So I guess I can't methodically ramble...or reveal thoughts I have about my artistic ideas on the internet; that would be like throwing a baby bottle of breast milk into a pen of nursing infants right? I'd like to think I'm a bit smarter than that, but who am I?

I am a creep! I am a silent listener, that's who I am! But I'm also a new grad student at OSU's Columbus Campus and I should probably clarify what I really mean before I'm spit out like back–wash. I like to listen into conversations whether I'm in them or not. You could say I'm interested in human interaction, although truthfully I'd rather not respect the context that most interesting things are ringside with. One man's trash is another man's treasure, only in my case I'd rather make sure your vocal garbage isn't lying right next to the untied, boiling dirty diapers. It's not that I don't care, I would rather keep myself happy in the process, that's all.

Almost every day, I take atleast one forty minute bus ride to get to where I'm going. And It's no lie that most of the time it's the best part of the day for me. Public transportation maybe be one of the only times you can find the similarity between a suit and a bum besides the same transfer card. It's a good chuckle, and that's why I love to listen and watch. I want this blog to be a release of information just like all the other millions. It's in the same vain of the Overheard site, just with an artistic twist. Here's to hoping I gain more followers on this than Jesus Christ did during his public diary days.

Oh, and I'm not a voyeurist...I'm pretty sure there's a sign on the bus condemning it along with food, drink and loud music. Let's have some fun and keep our hands away from the open windows.