Nothing New

"We're only creating ideas."

If true love is blind
Then I'm looking for the one-eyed man.
Not the dicking kind,
but the one who understands
that I can't see through past you.

-Yours truly

I rang up a grandmother's basket of toys for her two grandsons as they horsed around in her midst. She had an impressive walking stick which she held like a warrior as she whipped around, threatening a spanking on the two young boys (a job she had not had to do in a long time to my latter acknowledgement). Of course these boys were behaving as well as any 3-6 year old kids would...it seemed to me the grandmother was in need of a diaper change. I didn't have the heart to say so however.

We could be heroes.

Ain't no way th' nobody's gonna leave dis town.

So I drive up on stage...
yeah, yeah...
wow, thats practically a fantasy of mine:
to drive a car inside a building.

What the H USA?

I'm no soccer fan by any means, but I did feel an odd spiritual interest in watching the USA soccer team pedal through the World Cup. Of course, they lost and now my interest will have to turn back to the spot on my pants.

Sometimes I think I'm the one in the wrong...and then I realize I'm just following the mannerisms and thoughts laid out before me. I'm not wrong, but you're certainly not right.

There's a lot of things I wish I were instead of the being I presently am, but a psychic octopus is not one of them.

Ohh the pressure!

coachmcguirk.org

bum bum bum bum

The working heart

I checked out the film World's Greatest Dad, starring Robin Williams today. It's a dark, dirty comedy written by the old comedian Bobcat Goldthwait. I can honestly say I enjoyed it more than the hangover, literally and metaphorically.

How'd you like to earn fourteen dollars the hard way?

Is it just me or is the summer already flying by? I could be homeless come school in the fall with nothing to show for it (except maybe a homemade Cleveland Browns mask).

The Brutal Blues

Large Rootbeer?

And if I had a hand like a scissor, what would I do on the toilet?

I am trying to recreate a special moment I had my first semester at CCAD with my Color Concept teacher every day I work at Borders. At some point during the day, I get on my headset and ask my fellow workers if they're ready for the joke of the day. I'll then proceed to tell the same joke, compliments of Frank Lascowski...a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop. So far no one gets it.

And it makes me wonder...

Paul Pena RIP

...now give me sum damn candy!

a big idea
reality or make believe?
a great idea
but where does it ever lead?
a nice idea
then do we ever really know?
it’s bound to happen
but in the meantime, it’s on with the show.
-Devo

Even as the rain falls today, I feel good.

I watched my brother stand on our porch as the rain storm completely drenched him. It wasn't a question of why, but why not? Made me wonder what I and the hundreds of thousands of other humans were worried about that we couldn't stop and feel for a moment.

Maybe it's the acid?

I just discovered the 1981 animated film Heavy Metal, which features Devo oddly enough.

Tribute pt. 2 (slut)

There's only one Return of and that's of the Jedi/Daily Drawing

I'm back home (once again) for the summer, working at the local bookstore. I've got plenty of time here, so I thought it might be nice and beneficial to start storming out some fun drawings. Obviously, this one's pretty self explanatory.

Devo's new album is out and it has blown my pants off.

And now a tribute...

Marriage...

I was sitting besides two buddies, across the booth from my good friend and his newly engaged fiancee in our local truck stop back home. The water was refreshing, the coffee hot as hell while we talked about recent happenings and various thoughts. I moved the subject onto the responsibilities and comparisons at our age level now relative to how it was when our parents were growing up. There seems to be a longer period of shelter, a convinced generation of guardians who believe we aren't ready.

Our conversation made me question where I'm at in my life. I don't feel my age, but I am ready to live it. Sure I'm fairly fixed in my position, continuing studies in a city that I have to say is home due to the fact I've been here for five years now. Little by little, however, my hopes and dreams are trickling into my life. The ones I can control at least.

It brought us to marriage, what it means in our society today. Seems marriage during our parent's lives was still a conventional means to living. Everyone knew the traditions, honored and respected them for the most part. Somehow it became streamlined during the years, individuals began to believe that happiness meant marriage, with a beautiful house, a family to nourish and love, a new car to drive. We all agreed real love, real thoughts and actions of marriage were almost lucky.

I looked at all of the solo truck drivers eating in their booths alone. What does marriage mean to me? I grew up watching my dad model how a loving father behaves. Like him, I have a passion to love, to teach, to learn, to parent...I told myself it was in my blood. I didn't understand at the time, how completely special a REAL marriage and family is unfortunately. My friend's joyous engagement and my recent break up helped me see how the stars align, how destiny, fate, our big nurse etc. has a plan for us. And in the world we live in today, marriage to me is the rare discovery of that part of the plan.

There's too many variables in the world we live in today, it gets to a point where marriage can't simply be for financial stability or a means to having a family. Marriage to me is having a foundation, a friend, a love, who'll be there when you fall down in this variable wilderness. It's a partner in solving this world's distortions. And though I know it's ultimately not in my control, I question my return to living a bullheaded, one track dream. With all of my dreams and hopes, how can I possibly take the time and commitment for a woman especially when I can't expect her to do the same?

It all comes back to believing. Believing that when we you meet the perfect person, you're both willing to tackle the difficulties and work towards your grouped hopes and dreams. And it won't matter if it happens in an evening at a truck stop or several confusing years on a stressful college campus or a lifetime.

We won't know until the end anyway.

My red period...?

"I fuckin' hate white people."- White Boston Celtics fan storming out of a 7/11.

It's like I'm starting all over again, my life. Had a great conversation with the girl, we relaxed and laughed, I gave her a kiss goodbye...could be the last time I see her, I just don't know. And yes, I'm starting over, exactly back where I started it seems. I could so use a direct life changing refresher, but I guess I've gonna have to put on the gloves for that one.

I have ideas.

I'm gathering wood, not for the flame, but to fill my room to force me to whittle.

Certain nights this week had me feeling like I was the smallest spot of dust in Columbus. And that's balogna! It's simply insane how a culture, a city, a people so marinated with isolation could have me floundering like a fish up and down high st. I guess it could be worse, I could be a Boston Celtics fan and hate white people.


F.U.J.F.

I'm Old...and I've Got Hurt Feelings?

It's been such a long time...(hmmm Boston)

You get caught up with the education for your future career, a woman who seeks you out of the pack only to drop it like it's hot in the end, and you pass go, but you're not collecting that two hundred dollars...That's what I've been doing.

What is it about sorrow/somber/sulking that makes people want to write? I started this blog around a break up, and I'm bringing it back with one now too. I swear I'm a happy guy.

It's finals time and I've been in full ball breakin' mode. Having just about gone through two quarters, I've learned a lot in the realms of education, spirituality, community and lifestyle. Of course those recent experiences in my life have helped me clear the path to these understandings, but I'd like to be a bit boastful and say I've finally spun the mirror around in my heart and have become aware of my wants and beliefs through the reflection. I now know that I want the simple life, and no I'm not talking Paris and Nicole. I want to maintain a spiritual side, a global community activist side, a tree choppin' ax side, a ride my bike into the park/woods with guitar and sketchbook in hand side, a happy side.

And that's exactly what those sides create for me: happiness. I feel older knowing this. I feel older looking on and interacting with those I know who don't get it. Who are still caught in the hamster wheel that this world forms around us. Truth be told, I'm not even out of the hamster wheel yet, but I've got my feet on the edge and I know exactly where I'm going to take off running to when I hit the ground.



Ugh